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Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Still can't wrap my brain around this April Rose thing..

I even dreamed about it last night.

Makes me feel sick.

I couldn't help getting wrapped up in it because as far as a Trisomy mom it looked like she was beating the odds. She was going to get to met her baby alive where as most get a death certificate or something like what I got.




A picture of all my daughter's chromosomes. That right there is the "fatal animoly" or what made my daughter " incompatible with life".

She got to hold her baby while a lot of us have to have the baby removed from our wombs...because it doesn't realize the baby isn't alive anymore.

Her "B" was getting to say good bye to her baby. When most mothers babies are born still or they miscarry in the second trimester and you are like me no death certificate because you aren't to 20 weeks yet so you get somewhat of an autopsy report. An autopsy report for a baby was technically not born and didn't die.

Ugh.

The whole thing makes me want to throw up. It makes me want to cry for all the women who cried with her when the baby was born. Who prayed for "April Rose" every night. That hoped that she would get a few precious hours,days,moments with her daughter.

I think what makes it even harder is she presented herself as a woman of faith. She had one day a week where she posted prayer requests. She said she needed help sorting through them. I even emailed and said I would help.

Now the blog is deleted as are the names and stories of all the people in need of prayer.

I realize that "B" needs prayer still.....it just breaks me heart that she was out for the money she was making through her blog and didn't even think of the people behind the computer, their stories and their real losses.

I will write a more upbeat post later. Sorry to bum you out.

I do realize that my baby was special from the moment of conception. Jesus never intended she have an earthly life but it still makes me sad. I still think about her and my other angels everyday. I wonder if she is the only daughter I will ever have.

Ugh.

What makes a person make up a baby who has a deadly birth defect??

10 comments:

Brandy and Jonathan Crumly said...

I have no words for this or for whoever wrote this blog. But for you, I am stopping what I am doing and saying a very special prayer for you. I hope you feel God's precense.

~~~~~ The House of Big Cheese~~~~ said...

Thanks Brandy :)

Heather said...

I randomly got here. How I don't know. You know how you click on a comment that was on a blog and it leads you somewhere else and eventually you stumble upon a really great blog.

That is where I am now. A really great blog.

I am so sorry for your loss. I have not lost a child but I can't believe the pain that you and many others have gone through. It hurts me that there are people like B (Beccah) who do what they do. I pray for her.

I will pray for you also. From my reading, I seems like need a little extra so I am sending some up to the Lord above for you. Bless you in the years to come.

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